Pix 'n Prose

Randomness

2012-01-29T04:05:00.000-08:00

1. I've cleaned up my blog list over there on the right side. Yes, I totally just wriggled my right hand to make sure it actually is my right side. I'm 50. When will I instinctively know my left and right sides without writing in the air?
Note: Vibrant Nation commented on one of my blog posts, inviting me to consider joining their community.
Note: Nicaragua 2012 is the blog of a group of Drew's friends on a humanitarian trip. He's known most all of these kids since Kindergarten.
Note: My friend, Christine Lindsay is bravely reposting her birth-mother story. She was young, single and pregnant ...

2. The other day I was mentioning to a friend that I'd like to get a plain white hoodie. Tonight? She stopped by with six white hoodies (and a blue one) for me to consider. I was to try them all on, and decide which one I like, later, after she left, because she knows I don't try on clothes in front of people. She'll return the ones I don't want next week.

I really should just get her to pick out my next house for me. She loves shopping. I love not shopping.

3. Karm phoned this evening to tell me that Mark Wahlberg was being interviewed on TV. And then she said, "I've never mentioned this to you before, but, and you'll probably think I'm weird, but I see a likeness in appearance between Mark W and Drew."

Hahahahahahaha.
Oh my goodness.
She doesn't know the half of it.

Like Drew, Drew's dad is one of four brothers. Karm doesn't know that generation of O bros, but those that do? Totally see the resemble of Oboy #3 and Markie Mark.
Can you see it?

I don't have a whole lot of pics of my (ex) bro-in-law in laid back sexy poses, so it's hard to do an exact comparison. But even his daughter (and her friends) see it.

Anyway, when Drew came home I told him that Karm thought he looked like Mark Wahlberg.
(Which makes sense seeing my boys look so O-like it's as if I had no part in the recipe that made them.)
"YES!" he exclaimed, proudly, as if he'd done something special to win this look-alike lottery besides simply be the recipient of some very strong genes.

4. Seeing I was scanning a few photos for the look-alike post above, I thought I'd post this cute one of little Clint:

Awwwwwh.
So cute in his tiny tux. He was 3.

5. Two friends became grandmas for the second time this week - with both of them getting granddaughters.
Congrats Val (baby Grace) and Marg (baby Kayia).

Both Val and Marg are younger than me. And they each have 2 grandkids.
I can't imagine.
No really, I can't.
First of all - what will it be like to have daughters-in-law?
And secondly, will they want to 'share' their lives/babies/ with me?

If your son dates during high school, while he's living at home, you have a fighting chance of getting to know that girl informally. And her being comfortable in your home, just hanging out.

But after your son moves out? You're not part of that early dating process. I'm guessing he'll only bring her home once it's a done deal. And it's not like they'll hang out in your family room most evenings just watching TV. They'll only come by for a purposeful visit. I imagine it'll be a little awkward.

But maybe not. Maybe it'll all be good.
Please God, let it be good.

6. Saw Iron Lady this weekend.

What wouild it be like being Meryl Streep? Seriously. THAT WOMAN CAN ACT. How awesome would it be to have a reputation for being 'the best' at what you do? A reputation for working hard, and being able to deliver. Movie execs can count on her to turn in an award winning performance every time.

She was incredible in this movie. The movie itself? Meh. I'm not a fan of the style they used to document Margaret Thatcher's life. And her story didn't have to include (overriding everything else) her later years and possible dementia. For a while there, it felt like I was watching a movie on aging and the suckiness of getting old - as opposed to a movie about the life of the first female prime minister in the western world.

That said, I'm still glad I went. It WAS interesting. And I totally googled her life when I got home, so there's that. I am a smidgen smarter as a result of Hollywood.

7.. A few hearts (melted crayon shavings) from Thursday night's creative endeavors:

I'm going to be doing these again this week - at my mom's place. Anyone else want to play?

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Friends who drop by with 6 hoodies.
2. Fresh water is only 3 steps away.
3. Church services on Saturday night. Northview is doing a spectacular series on the life of Jacob.

Tonight Jeff drew our attention to all the shortcomings of Isaac, Rebekah, Esau and Jacob and the incredible dysfunction of that family. And at the spot we were studying tonight, Isaac just gave his blessing to Jacob who, along with the help of his mom, deceived his dad, stealing it from his brother. Esau vowed to kill Jacob, so he ran away, not knowing if he'd ever see his family again. And if that were the end of the story, it would be a dismal ending. Favoritism. Intent to murder. Theft. Distrust. Abandonment. A complete breakdown of the family unit.

(Jeff suggested we remember this particular family next Thanksgiving when we have our own dysfunctional families sitting around our table. Ours don't look so bad compared with His chosen family, eh?)

But here's the thing. The story isn't over til it's over. This is only Genesis 28. There's still a whole lot of life yet to be lived.

And when God met Jacob in the desert after he'd cheated, stolen and run away, what did He say to him? I'm disappointed in you? I'm mad at you? I am going to smote you? I'm going to punish you? No. He sure didn't:

I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. ¹⁴Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring.^[b] ¹⁵ I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

And our stories aren't over til His purposes have been accomplished. We will mess up. He loves us anyways. We will do wicked things. He will use us anyways. We will run away. He will find us.

I am going to hang on to that. With both hands.
Our stories aren't done. My story is still being written.
He still has a purpose for me.

So I'll stand. With hands and heart wide open.
Surrendering my life to Him. I'm His. He can use me for His purposes.

Shalom,

Pinterest-Inspired Night

2012-01-27T01:11:00.000-08:00

AKA Craft Night.

Saw these:

and these:

on Pinterest and tried making them, with friends, at my dining room table.

I'll take better pics of the final product tomorrow, in the daylight.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Friends who come over to make things and hang out even if they don't like crafting.

2. Kids who are OK being creative with a bunch of old ladies.

3. It was sunny today. GLORIOUS.

Shalom,

Title-less Post

2012-01-26T01:04:00.000-08:00

Can't think of what to name this post, so it'll just remain titleless.

January did not start out with a bang.
I was lazy.
I did not have a plan.
Nor was I motivated.
I just sat. (And played Wheel of Fortune and Words with Friends.) (I've gotten pretty good.) (Not bragging. Just mentioning.)

I was tired of myself by Saturday afternoon.
So I made a list.
Lists are more fun when they're colorful.

Below is my master To Do List. My deadline is March 9. (Spring Break)
Orange = Things to Clean
Blue = Appointments to Make
Yellow = Stuff to Buy
Pink = Events to Plan
The other Orange = Crap I've Got to Do

As chores get accomplished, I remove the post it note from my bedroom wall.
Unfortunately, chores beget chores. And after I removed two stickies this afternoon, I thought of 5 more to add.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend, Denise's sister (Nadine) died last week. She had been battling cancer for the past ten months, and her passing was not unexpected. (Yes, if you're keeping track, this is my third friend in 4 weeks that is experiencing a huge loss.)

Like, Marg did for her dad, Denise made room in her home for Nadine, and cared for her right up until the last stage. I have watched these two friends set their lives on hold while they selflessly devoted their time and energy to these family members that needed them. They handled the meds, the never-ending doctor appointments, the lab visits, the food prep ... they loved on their loved ones with gentleness and kindness. I never heard either of them complain or whine about the imposition, or say 'this is not my gifting/I didn't sign up for this'...

I am humbled by their Christ-like demonstration of love.

Truly, God has filled my life with amazing role models. There is nothing more attractive/compelling than selflessness.

Tonight was book club night at my place and we discussed Cutting for Stone. One of the lines in the book is resonating with me this evening: "How it treats the least of it's brethren is the measure of a country."
I think the same is true for families, "How they treat their elderly/failing/special needs members is the true measure of a family."

Denise, Marg, Heather and mom? Thank you.
Thank you for not bailing when the going got tough.
The world (or at least a portion of it), is watching.
We are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses... thank you for finishing the race til the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Christmas Tree (the live cut one? that the boys delivered and set up right before the 25th?) IS STILL UP. (In the stand. In the family room. Loosing needles.)

This fact reveals to you how often my oldest comes home. Twice in December. Once in November. Once in October. So far, not at all in January.

Seriously. I think my friend, Sue saw Andrew (who lives in Denmark) more in 2011 than I saw Clint (who lives in Vancouver.)

To offset the Christmas thing that's going on in the back of the house, I added some hearty things to the front of my abode:

Yes, technically that's a Christmas tree too. I just threw some pink and red shiny stuff on it. It works.
Does too.

Yes, I wrapped twinkle lights around the trunk of my fake tree. Just like they do to the palm trees in Palm Springs. Yup, that heart garland (on the mantle) I made 2 years ago got used again this year. CRAFTS. Gotta love them.

Below: This is the grapevine table in my front entrance. It's hearty now too.

(Yes, one of those table items is actually intended to be for Christmas. It's a grey area, this season between Dec 25 and Feb 14... hard to define just exactly how one must decorate. If one is, in fact, inclined to decorate. ) (See pic below to fully understand how conflicted I am...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. January 25 - my granny died on this day in 1989. So many happy memories of her ...

Mom? Was thinking of you today. You were probably missing her. She loved you sooo much - and was very proud of you. If she were still alive, she would love to visit you... she'd be in awe of all the lovely things in your home, would tell you you're beautiful. And smart. And good. And she'd end your visit by saying, "God be with you."

I'm thankful I got to know my grandmas. I'm thankful for the legacy of family and prayer they left behind.

2. I'm thankful for people who write books. And for people that read books. AND FOR PEOPLE THAT LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE BOOKS THEY'VE READ.

3. Got a lube and oil today. Thankful that they only found one other thing that needed repair. Total bill: $325. (Not $800 like it used to always be.)

Shalom,

Year of the Dragon

2012-01-23T01:51:00.000-08:00

The kids and I celebrated the Chinese New Year this evening by having Chinese food together. When I sent out the email invite, Clint responded, "just any excuse now eh ahhahaha"

He knows me well. I will find any and every reason for us to get into our cars and drive somewhere to share an hour of time. All the grumbling and sarcasm that I put up with beforehand is usually worth it, as they all seem to bring a decent attitude to the table.

We are all living such diverse lives right now - Clint in the basement suite of an old house on Commercial in Vancouver, Max in a penthouse in New West, Drew and me in suburbia on a big lot in Langley. Clint is self-employed, Max is looking for work, Drew is happily unemployed and I'm still working parttime. Everyone is going their own way, and I feel like I've got to pull us all together to remind everyone we are a family.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Clint, Max, and Drew.
2. Slow weekends.
3. It didn't get dark til 5:30 pm.

Shalom,

Small World

2012-01-22T03:45:00.000-08:00

I have a friend whose youngest daughter chose to join the US Army when she was 17. She's now 18 and based on the other side of North America. It's a long ways away for her mama ... So my friend and I pray for her little girl; that God would keep an eye on her and cover her with His protection. It's a faith thing.

I am constantly amazed by the maturity and direction some young people have. She has a ten year plan, and being in the military is phase one. (Heck, she probably has a 50 year plan too; she just hasn't shared it with the rest of us yet.)

She believes this is all part of God's calling on her life; she is simply doing His will.

Again, I am in awe, as to how some people KNOW what God's will is. I'm well into the second act of my life, and I still don't have a clue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have another friend, Janice, who has had some pretty incredible experiences. One of them happened when she was 15 years old. You can read the whole story here.

Twenty five years ago, there was a plane crash in Newfoundland and all 256 military personnel (101st Airborne Division and crew members) on board died. The paratroopers had served on a peacekeeping mission and were on their way home when the plane went down.

"Janice was only 15 when she heard the tragic news of the crash. The Canadian teenager from Oakville, Ontario, wanted to reach out to the Families of the fallen Fort Campbell Soldiers.

“I wrote a letter to our big Toronto Star newspaper and said I would like to donate my babysitting money … to [buy trees] to plant as a living memorial to these Soldiers who died in our country,” she said. “I thought ‘I’m 15 years old, what can I do?’ But it was something.”

Word of the memorial idea and Janice’s $20 donation to the cause spread globally. World leaders and celebrities commended the teen’s efforts with phone calls, telegrams, letters and $1,700 in donations."

If you clicked the link, you'll know the rest of the story... the 256 trees were planted, and 25 years later, (last summer) Janice and her family stopped in to see the Sugar Maple Grove.

I LOVE THIS STORY.

I love how she was 15 and was moved to do something.

I love how the adults in her life encouraged her to follow through with the idea.

I love how this is an international partnership with both Canada and the US working together to make this happen.

I love how Janice brought a plaque that says: Donated by the People of Canada to the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) in memory of the 248 courageous Soldiers who died in Gander, Newfoundland, December 12, 1985. Each tree stands as a living memorial. The forest testifies to their united commitment to global peacekeeping. Blessed are the peacemakers. St. Matthew 5, verse 9.

I love how this makes it feel like God is there, in that place, blessing the peacemakers.

AND I TOTALLY LOVE THAT THIS IS EXACTLY THE SAME BASE THAT MY FRIEND'S DAUGHTER IS AT.

Seriously? What are the chances?

It just seems like divine meddling to me. I know, I know. It doesn't really mean anything... it could just be a big ol' coincidence. But deep inside, it just feels like a message from God, saying, "I am way over here, looking after Soph. Don't worry. I got this. I was here with Janice when the trees were dedicated. I was here when she came back to show her kids. And I'm still here, keeping an eye on the people we love."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time for another one of those THOUGHT PROVOKING QUESTIONS:

If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

First of all, I don't care for the tone of this question. It's assuming I would HAVE to teach something against my will. Which is so not true. I love teaching. In fact, right up until grade 12, I was preparing to go to university to become a teacher.

In the end, I took a detour into business, and never looked back. But when opportunities present themselves, I take advantage of them; I love telling people what to do. When I worked at Billies, I 'taught' the elementary school kids when they came to for a field trip. Twenty kids at a time, I'd make a craft with them. I'd like to think I was pretty good at it.

So. I'm going to reword the question to: If I had the great opportunity to teach something, what would I teach?

I have a list prepared:

1. How to start a blog.

2. How to get an account on pinterest, and what to pin.

3. How to cut, copy and paste on your computer. And what REPLY ALL means when emailing.

4. How to make an online photobook.

5. How to organize your digital photos.

6. How to convince your creative friends to teach their crafts at your dining room table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Quiet, laid back Saturday; didn't DO anything but make a wall full of color coded lists. (Will post pic tomorrow.)

2. A roof that doesn't leak.

3. Coil bound, lined journals.

Shalom,

Be inspired. Be inspiring.

2012-01-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

I live in Canada. It's winter. And yes, there is snow. I am living in the stereotypical arctic. (Huh. Did you know there were 2 C's in arctic? I didn't.)

Because it's minus 12 outside, I have become a hibernating bear. Many, many evening hours spent inside in front of this computer screen. It's been fascinating.

For instance, there's this red dress. Well, it's more than a dress... it's more like a ball gown. Red. With sparkles and sequence and glitter and flowy things and shiny parts. Jenny bought it. She bought it because:
"I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies. I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be. And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible”. Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better. Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it."

(Jenny suffers from depression and anxiety disorder and recently she posted her experiences with cutting (self harm). She got 2500 comments on that post. Alot of folks read her blog.)

Anyways, she bought that red dress and posted the pics of her photoshoot here. Then? She offered to send that dress to anyone who might 'need' a red dress experience. That dress has been criss-crossing the country being photographed by women who need some magic in their lives. It's been on the road for 18 months and is getting tattered... so she started saving up to buy another dress. She sold some items from her online store, her friend, Ursula gave her a donation and she bought 2 more dresses last week. They too, are bright red. (You can see them here.)

Jenny's best friend, Laura, who also did a red dress photo shoot, posted an update about the whole project and how it's exploded... you can read about it here. People are buying and donating red dresses in all sizes all across the States. And I just love it.

Seriously. So awesome.

I love when the internet is used for good.
I love when women do nice things for each other.
I love how 'community' can be built amongst strangers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I have an internet connection.
2. I baked a batch of banana chocolate chip muffins this evening, wishing I could zip some warm ones over to Max and EXACTLY then he unexpectedly walked in the front door. Perfect timing.
3. Envelopes with windows. Whoa. How handy.

Shalom,

Just this morning ...

2012-01-17T23:13:00.000-08:00

... on my way to work I was thinking about Heather (Dooce.com). I'd stopped reading her blog posts everyday because she was spending a whole season talking about training for a marathon, running the marathon and recovering from the injuries that resulted from the marathon.

It just didn't interest me, yo?

So, I'd pop by for a visit maybe once a week to catch up/gloss over her postings and pictures, looking for/hoping for some of those transparent, tight, light essays about real life that she is famous for.

Last April she wrote an enlightening four part series called " A Peak Inside Our Day" which gave us a glimpse inside her daily life of being part of a husband/wife team that live and work together from home. Part 4 contains unexpected content, as it deals with the therapy sessions that she and Jon (her husband) had been going to recently. She shares:

Sometimes this hour of the day is
spent sitting with my husband across
the room from our therapist.
She looks at me and tells me to stop
lying to myself. Yes, your parents
handled the divorce as best as
they could, Heather, you've pointed
that out how many times now?
But still, it cut you up and spit you out.

Admit it. Say it out loud. Free that
ten-year-old girl.
Because it wasn't her fault.

She ended up getting 200 comments on that post from other adults who are still struggling from issues stemming from their parent's divorce.

In May, Jon and Heather went to see U2 (a bucket list item for them) and she wrote this:
Then came the encore and they played "One"
and all of a sudden I am seventeen years old
and I'm lying on the floor of my bedroom
wondering what my future will look like.
And who I'm going share it with.

Considering all the therapy Jon and I have
been through in the last year and the
breakthroughs we've achieved, there
couldn't have been a more transcendental
moment to signify how much we want
to be together.
And be there for our two girls.
This is my future.

Then, in November, she wrote about her dad's 70th Birthday party and how she hosted it because she had a home large enough to comfortably have all her siblings, their spouses and kids as well as her step siblings, their spouses and their kids over:

My father's turning 70 was not just monumental
in number, but also because it transpired the
same year that I realized the way he and my
mother divorced has profoundly affected every
relationship I've ever had, more specifically
that he has affected every relationship.

...what this most certainly isn't about is forgiveness.
There is nothing to forgive. Like I said, he did
the best he could. And if a couple of months in
my tenth year could have such a lasting effect
on the rest of my life, who knows what my own
children will discover in the next thirty to forty
years about the chords that twist and bind us
as parent and offspring.

Again, the comment section was filled with responses from folks totally understanding the confusing pain of a parent's divorce.

Why was I thinking of Heather this morning?
Because Drew came home the other night, saddened about an impending divorce he'd just heard about. We talked about it for a few minutes, but there was nothing I could say to make it seem like it was no big deal. It IS a big deal. Lives will be changed, and the ripple effect of one couple's divorce extends for generations.

I wanted to send a note to this couple, and let them know I'm sad for them, am praying for them, and am available to talk if they want. And I wanted to send them Heather's links... so that they can fully appreciate the impact their divorce will have on their kids. Because, boy howdy, do the kids ever get messed up when their family unit is broken. I know this. I live this reality every day. It is mostly not pretty.

So this morning, on my way to work, I was thinking I hadn't checked out Heather's blog in a week or two and I probably should. Her entries this past month have been 'off' and I wondered if she'd gotten her groove back in the new year.

I was deeply saddened and a little bit shocked to read this:

"Mom?" Leta asks. She doesn't wait for
me to answer. "Why does Dad not
sleep here anymore?"

I swallow. She can probably hear it.
I let go of Marlo's foot to tuck my
hair behind my ear. I hope my voice
doesn't shake.

"You know when you're playing with
Marlo and need to take a break?" I answer.
"You'll go upstairs because you want
to be by yourself.
Because that's what you need."

"Yeah," she says, and it sounds
like a question.

"Well, sometimes adults need that
kind of break, that kind of distance.
Dad and I are taking a break."

~~~~~~~~~

The still aching ten-year-old Heather
is screaming at me, angry and raw and
hurt that this is happening. This isn't
fair. Sometimes when I'm in bed at
night I can hear the rapid beating
heart of my ten-year-old self as I sat
in my father's lap listening to Air Supply,
his tears burning my forehead as he
wondered aloud about how things
could go so wrong.

How do things go so wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh man.
I so remember the pain. The disbelief. The never-ending raw, hot, blinding tears.
The painful conversations with the kids.
The feeling like a loser. (That consequently never went away.)
The loneliness.
The reliving of those last few years wondering what could have been done differently.
The shame.

And that was nothing compared to what the kids were going through. The confusion. The foundation of their lives crumbling. The anger.

Seriously.
If you're thinking of divorcing - please consider the ramifications this will have on your children. Amongst other things, this will be your legacy. Kids are not that resilient; they won't simply bounce back in a few months. They take their parent's marital messes with them into every relationship they have; it's the yardstick they use to measure themselves against. Yes, even boys.

There are a few things I'm passionate about. This is one of them.
Please, please, please - don't give up on your marriage or the person you married. Find one tiny thing worth saving and work with that.

Please?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Oh the snow. So glorious, no?
2. The wisdom in Proverbs. Ageless, timeless, wisdom. For example, today's chapter (the 17th) contains these nuggets:

Disregarding another person's faults preserves love; telling others about them separates close friends.
Beginning a quarrel us like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
It is senseless to pay tuition to educate a fool who has no heart for wisdom.
It is painful to be the parent of a fool; there is no joy for the father of a rebel.
A truly wise person uses few words.

3. Internet assistance when I'm dumbfounded by a computer problem:

Are any of Clint's friends online? What should I do if I connect my external hard to my laptop (and yes, the HD has got power) and my laptop doesn't notice? How can I view the contents (5 years of image files)?

· · Share · 23 hours ago

- Lynne:Go to your start button and click on the computer. Once it opens it should show the HD and if you click on it, it should open it
  23 hours ago ·
- Jane:That's what I've always done. But my computer isn't recognizing that I've got it plugged in. When the 'computer' screen opens, there is no HD icon.
  23 hours ago ·
- Lynne: unplug and then replug?
  23 hours ago ·
- Jane: Did that. And rebooted twice. The hd is humming and the blue light is on, so I know it's got power. And my laptop is clearly working... I'm on facebook, aren't I? :) And I can plug other things into my laptop (card reader, for example) and it acknowledges that just fine... It's a mystery.
  23 hours ago ·
- Lynne: Indeed it is....hmm I guess maybe someone 20 years younger may have the answer. : )
  23 hours ago ·
- Wesley: Idk what laptop you have but try clicking start and going to devices and printers and see if anything pops up there
  21 hours ago ·
- Clint: plug the HD into the desktop to see if it works on that. restart the laptop but without the HD plugged into it, once it restarts then plug in the HD.
  21 hours ago ·
- Andrew: have you tried plugging it into a different usb port?
  14 hours ago ·
- Stephen: Could be a dead HD.
  12 hours ago ·
- Jane: Hush you,Stephen.
  12 hours ago ·
- Jane: I plugged, unplugged, turned off, turned on, used different ports, tried it on the desktop at home and at work. The hd itself has power - the blue light is on and it's humming.
  11 hours ago ·
- Stephen: Have you tried using different cables? The power doesn't seem an issue. But maybe your USB cable is bunk. Also just because it's making sound and power appears like its on, doesn't mean the HD is actually working as it should. I would have Clint take a look and then maybe take it somewhere.
  10 hours ago ·
- Jane: Trying different cables is my next plan. And then I will take it somewhere. Having Clint look at it is not an option.
  10 hours ago ·
- Clint: when i get un-sick i'll come out
  10 hours ago ·
- Trish: you may be infected with malware.
  8 hours ago ·
- Trish: http://www.malwarebytes.org/, download and terminate your internet connection (malware spreads and may not be detected if you're connected) then run a full scan and hopefully you're clean. if not follow the instructions and then restart and try plugging in again.
  8 hours ago ·
- Clint: this has nothing to do with malware whatsoever
  7 hours ago ·
- Jane: Sigh. Well I gave the guy who owns the computer repair shop a good laugh this afternoon. Yes, the cable I was using to connect the hd to my laptop was not created for that purpose.
  "How did you even plug it in?" he asked in utter amazement.
  5 hours ago · · 1
- Jane: ‎"Like this," I demonstrated. "You can see how it's not effective if you slide it in sideways like that, right?" he suggested diplomatically.
  5 hours ago · · 1
- Jane: ‎"You are using a cellphone charger; they weren't designed to be used for your purposes here, " he concluded. And then smirked.
  5 hours ago · · 1

I was going to go to bed.

2012-01-16T01:23:00.000-08:00

But then I thought of Rachel, getting up at 2 am for a night feeding and having nothing new to read. And then I thought of Kandance, who has just started reading this blog and I felt obligated, you know?

So for them I'll come up with 3 things I'm thankful for. And maybe answer one of those 365 questions. And find a photo to post.

While I'm thinking of things and answers, you can ponder this. My live Christmas tree is still up. I took Christmas 'down' last week, thanks to Danica's encouragement and help. But the tree? That's a blue job. And those boys of mine who set it up a few days before Christmas will have to come back and take it away. I should take bets to see who guesses closest to the actual day. $1 per guess. Winner gets half the money. The other half goes to charity. Lookit me - a fundraiser at heart.

Know what else?
The power was out around here on the weekend. Probably for about 10 hours, give or take abit due to exaggeration. Not a single clock has been reset. And the big battery operated clock on the wall? Has a dead battery in it. It died at 6:45 am. It will be interesting to see how tomorrow morning plays out. I personally totally missed a playdate on Saturday due to the fact that nothing woke me up.

OK. Question for today from this website:
Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
Neither. It's a sign of emotion. Of life. Of feeling. Someone who cries alot (yes, I'm looking at you in the mirror) is not necessarily weak. And someone who never cries (yes, I'm looking at you people that came from my womb) are not necessarily strong.

I was in Costco today for 8 minutes and ran into the dental assistant from my dentist's office. She had me crying in 3 minutes. Drew was nonplussed. Danica was concerned. This apparently is non-typical behavior; her mom doesn't cry in Costco. She wondered what the conversation could possibly be about - teeth? Gums? Plaque build up? Drew guessed exactly correctly; it had nothing to do with our mouths and everything to do with our children.

(By the way, in case you're imagining me sobbing uncontrollably in the canned foods isle, it wasn't like that. Dainty tears just leaked. That's all. )

What was the question again?

Oh nevermind. I answered it good enough.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Fun evidence that I attended the Polaroid Party. Oldest person in the building, I think.

I have such a friggen big head. Hats barely perch on the top. Seriously. What kind of genetics produce noggins that large?

I mean, LOOK. Adam is wearing the exact same hat in his pic with Clint. See where that hat is resting? His ears. The cowboy hat COVERS his head and comes all the way down to his ears.
On my head. It barely covers the tippity top of my skull.
Go ahead, scroll up. Look again. Then scroll down.
See what I mean?

Conclusion:
I have a larger than average brain.

2. Fun dinner tonight at Daryl and Jule's. Three generations. Two genders. One partridge in a pear tree.

3. Snow. I'm thankful for this weekend's snow. It came at the right time and it was beautiful. I like having 4 seasons. Good idea, God.

Shalom,

2012-01-15T02:16:00.000-08:00

My boards are for me.
I pin stuff on them because I love the way those pins link back to the original source. (So if I see a photo of something yummy I pin it to my board. THEN when I click on that photo, it takes me back to the website that has the recipe to go along with the photo.)

I'm not trying to build a business for myself, do any specific networking, brand the pixnprose name, or win a popularity contest. I just pin stuff I like.

The odd time someone will 'like' something I've posted, which is kinda cool.
And once in awhile, someone will repin an item I've pinned, which is a little bit flattering, knowing that at least one other person out there likes the same things I do.

Up until this evening, I don't think I ever kept track of the numbers.

And then.

Then.

Then I found this project that I love. It involves mini white twinkle Christmas lights. Have I mentioned here how much I love them? And how I don't think they should be used exclusively in December? And how there should be some way to incorporate them into a person's home decor year round? And how I found some ideas on pinterest? And how when I told my mom about the idea, she already had an apothecary jar filled with lights in her living room? And how my mom is always on the cutting edge of decorating because she's cool like that?

No I didn't mention it here? Maybe it was my facebook status last week.

My eyelid is still twitching. Which has nothing to do with pinterest or twinkle lights. Just thought I'd keep you informed.

ANYways ... tonight I found this project:

which I love. Not the background color, but the idea. I love the idea. So I pinned it to one of my boards. And within ONE hour, 46 people repinned it. Whoa. For me? That's like winning an Oscar. And I feel like Sally Field ... "you like me, you really like me" except in my case, it's more like, "there's people out there who like the same things I like ... yay."

It reminded me of those heady Billie's Country days in the 90's when I'd put together a selection of about 150 craft classes and people would line up trying to register for them. Funny, but I haven't felt confident about my choices or taste since then.

How much reassurance do I crave anyhow? Yeesh.

I took a closer look at my boards after tonight's flurry of activity on the above pin.

Interested to know what else strangers on the internet repinned?

This piece of artwork that feels light and airy to me:

Theses words were a big hit:

Surprisingly, this photo I took of my mom's garden last summer was repinned over and over.
Go figure:

I wasn't the only one who loved this colorful doodle page:

And this cookie recipe: (Cornflakes, peanut butter and melted chocolate chips. Just 3 ingredients)

And lastly?
This graphic, with these words:

Do you have a pinterest board? Let me know. I'll follow you.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Genesis. So much to learn from the stories in that first book of the Bible. Seriously. Come to church. Jacob? Fascinating life.
2. Grace. Undeserved favor with God.
3. Gas fireplaces. Especially when the power goes out. Which it did for about 10 hours. Thankful for my house. Every single part of it, but especially the living room. And my bed. And the front entrance. And

Shalom,

Smiling

2012-01-14T16:11:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful for friends who are willing to drive into Vancouver with me to take a peak at what my boy has been up to.

The Polaroid Party that "Team Awesome" threw last night was pretty amazing. The venue, The Canvas Lounge in Gastown, opened at 8 for Polaroid viewing & purchasing ($10 each, proceeds going to building schools in India and Ethiopia via Dalit Freedom Network and Imagine 1 Day). And then at 11 the "party" was going to begin with a couple of dance floors and a number of DJ's.

My plan was to pop in at the start of the evening, buy a few polaroids, say hi to Clint and Dallas, then leave. Last time I talked to Clint, they had pre-sold 90 tickets, and on facebook 432 invitees had replied.

By the time we arrived in gastown, found parking, waved off weird men and made our way to the club, it was only 7:40 pm. WE WERE NOT going to be the 'old' people who arrived early. So we wandered around a magical gastown with the brick streets, old lampposts and twinkle-lit trees looking for a coffee shop.

We got back to the Canvas Lounge just before 9.
There was a line up outside the doors with bouncers determining who could go in. I showed them my tickets, bought online earlier in the day, but they still shoo-ed me to back of the line. When we finally got to the doors, we were ID-ed. We burst out laughing. Seriously. Take a look at our faces. Our clothes. Our footware choices. We are old, man.

Didn't matter.
He needed to see our driver's licenses.

Eventually we made it through their entry process and were blown away by how crowded it was and how much positive energy was buzzing through those rooms. Hundreds of people were there. Half the Polaroids were sold. Familiar faces everytime I turned around. It was crazy.

I called Clint from my cellphone and my smiling boy slid up behind me and gave me a hug. Months of planning and prep, weeks of worry and wonder and days of no-sleep and attention to details paid off. He was astounded by the turnout. And thrilled with the response.

We manged to look at all 20 photographer's displays before leaving about an hour later. I bought 4 Polaroids from 'kids' that I know: Adam Shellenberg, Kelly Swanson, Sean Dalit and Clint.

In the end, they had just over 800 people partying with them.
They raised about $10,000 from $10 Polaroid sales and $10 entrance fees.
Most importantly; they had fun.
Fun.
Having fun, fundraising.

And everyone on the planning team was born in the '80's.

I know there's a lot of talk and concern about this next generation ... but so far? I'm wholly supportive. Once they figure out what's important, they throw their entire beings into it. They are a passionate bunch.

Our job? Is to encourage, guide, listen and cheer.
I love watching them go after their dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Another set of Drew's friends - determined to help him get that engine out:

(My garage was SO clean before this project started ...)

2. It snowed on the drive home last night.
This was the scene outside my bedroom window at midnight:

So pretty, no?

The flakes were huge.
The earth was quiet.

3. I had my first Cadbury Cream Egg of the season and it was delightful.

All in all a solid day.
:)

Shalom,

Circle of Life

2012-01-13T02:02:00.000-08:00

Last night I sniffed and snuggled Rachel's daughter, Baby Eleanor.
This morning I sat at the BC Biomedical Lab for 3 hours getting blood tests done with a steady stream of elderly folk and their walking apparatuses. (Apparatusi?)
And this afternoon I was at Margret's dad's (Opa Dueck's) funeral.

It was my second funeral in 3 weeks; Sandra's dad (Papa Woolgar) passed away unexpectedly on Dec 23.

These events, all sandwiched together on top of each other, have given me much to think about.

Thots - In No Particular Order:

1. Content babies are an absolute joy to hold. And behold.

2. Their facial expressions change every nanosecond, so one could take 60 shots in 60 seconds and get a different 'look' each time.

3. My dad is down to 3 expressions. His face used to be so very expressive.

4. Mennonites know how to sing. Especially hymns. In harmony.

5. I think all funerals should have a german element to them. German, is, afterall, the Holy language.

6. Attending funerals is more funner when you walk in with someone and you sit with friends.

7. At least 95% of the folks entering the lab this morning did not read the signs posted on the door, at the desk and on the wall that said PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER AND BE SEATED. They all thought it didn't apply to them - they just needed to ask a question... or just needed a blood test, ... or had an appointment, ... or were dropping off something...

8. I'm a fan of funeral slide shows. Both funerals had great images that gave me valuable peaks into these grandfathers' lives.

9. Christian funerals are so filled with peace. It is Well with everyone's souls at these things.

10. You know how in church services nowadays, someone from the front, usually the worship leader, says something like, "Let's take a few minutes to greet the folks beside us. Turn and say hi to the person next to you." (I? Personally LOATHE it when I'm TOLD to do this.) However, I bet, 50 years ago, no one ever told the congregation to do this. Know why? They did it without being told. Seriously. Today? At King Rd MB Church? I watched every senior (and there were hundreds of them there) shake hands with everyone sitting around them. In fact, every time someone entered my row, or the row in front in me, they looked me in the eye, said hi, nodded and shook my hand. Classy bunch, those old Mennonites.

11. Both men (Bob W and Henry D) were family men who delighted in their wives, children and grandchildren, (and for Opa Dueck) great grandchildren. The legacy they left behind was a strong family unit that knew they were adored, prayed for and dearly loved. The values of faithfulness, loyalty, compassion, generosity, along with strong work ethics were passed down to future generations by these men who lived with integrity.

12. As I sat through both funerals, I thought of my dad. And how, we've tentatively planned 3 - 4 funerals for him over the years. That man has clinically died many times in the past 20 years. (Likely before that too... he lived a dangerous life - from the war years, to the farm years, to the being-tough-guy-cool years). His funeral will not have a German sermon. And he'd probably want us all to wear red, his favorite color. And cowboy boots... some of us should have on cowboy boots. The rest in stilettos.

13. Some lab techs are brilliant with needles. No kidding; I didn't even feel it go in.

14. That glucose drink? Hasn't changed much in 25 years. Foy.

15. I saw the back side of a small woman as she was talking at the desk. She, too, went straight to the desk without getting a number. "I don't need to wait in line," she said. "I just need to show you this (her blood test order) and get a blood test. It shouldn't take long." She was wearing high heeled red clogs, tight blue jeans, (probably a size 2) a navy and white fitted long sleeve test shirt and a denim vest. She had a full head of thick dirty blonde hair, shoulder-length and styled beautifully. I guessed her to be about 30. When she turned around, I saw that she was probably 90. With false eyelashes. And bright lipstick. And a gazillion wrinkles and a look of bewilderment when the clerk told her to get a number and have a seat. "Where?" The clerk said, "Right there. Right beside you. See that black machine in the middle. Press the button on the front." She asked again, "What? Where? Can't you just help me now?" This went on for about a minute. "What button? Where? Now what? What do I do?"

First of all, people. We need to dress age appropriately. Seriously. I feared for her life watching her walk in those shoes.
Second of all, false eyelashes are not necessary when going to medical appointments.
Third of all, and I could be wrong, but I don't think one has to match their lipstick color with their shoe color.

16. I sat in the waiting room for almost 3 hours, reading my book. In all that time, only one other person brought a book to read as well. AND IT WAS THE SAME BOOK.

17. Both men, at both funerals, had hard childhoods due to the war and economics. Both were born elsewhere and settled in Canada. Neither of them allowed their difficult experiences to overshadow the new lives they built for themselves. They both were happy, twinkle-in-their-eye kinda guys who enjoyed life and all the blessings they received. No bitterness. No anger. No lingering whoa-is-me attitude. Younger generations, mine included, can learn from their example.

18. I am looking forward to being a grandma. Eleanor's 'grandmas' are Gigi and Oma. I have a number of friends who are Omi's and Oma's. I am 100% positive I will not be an Oma. While I wanted and prayed for sons, I think I'd like a granddaughter to spoil.

19. I am proud to have Mennonite blood running through my veins.

20. Three things I'm thankful for:

Another (!) sunny day. The mountains? and fields? Looked spectacular.
Clint's POLAROID PARTY is tomorrow night. I'm thankful I have friends who want to go with me. (OK It's not HIS party, but it's a fundraiser he has helped organize. I couldn't be prouder.)
It's THURSDAY night. The weekend? Is so. very. close. Can you smell it?

Shalom,

New.

2012-01-12T00:57:00.000-08:00

She's brand new. And so adorable.

And oh my goodness, so tiny.

And expressive.

I might have to visit her again.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Sunny winter days.
2. New life.
3. That my baby is growing up:

(That's him in the stripes, working on his car.)

Wait. What? Stress, you say?

2012-01-11T00:02:00.000-08:00

It had been a full evening and I didn't make it to bed til, uhm, maybe 3:00 am. Don't even bother. I know. I KNOW!

I woke up at 4:00 am with massive chest discomfort. Like serious heaviness and something-is-wrong-ness. Like my chest, collar bone, shoulders and neck had fallen asleep and were just waking up with that heavy prickly feeling. You know the one.

"Holey Schmidt. I'm having a heart attack," I thought. "Am I going to die tonight? How clean is my bathroom? My kitchen? Is my mom going to be able to make sense of my bank accounts and DID I PAY ALL MY BILLS? When was the last time I shaved my legs?"

I did what any reasonable peri-menopausal 50 year old woman would do when she's having a massive coronary situation ... I put on some lipstick, changed my underwear and called 911.

No I didn't.
I opened my laptop and googled HEART ATTACK, noting to myself what my symptoms were before reading them online. Because we all know that I would have developed every symptom listed once I was aware of them. Nausea? UH, uhhuh, sure. I feel vomity. Cold knee caps? Heck yeah, they're freezing. Ringing in the ears? Why yes, YES! That's exactly what I have... and so on.

So I read the list and had the top two.
Although I wouldn't have said that I was 'in pain' necessarily - just very uncomfortable. Like, deathly uncomfortable.

"If you think you're having a heart attack, take 2 Aspirin."
I took 2 Aspirin.
"Then lie down..."
I went to the living room and lay down on my favorite couch. It'd be a nice place to die. I'd be meeting Jesus on my couch.
"... while you wait for an ambulance."

I didn't need an ambulance. The hospital is 4 blocks away. If this thing didn't clear up in the next few hours, I'd get Drew to take me over on his way to school.

After 15 minutes I thought that a heating pad would feel nice on my achy parts. So I went upstairs and grabbed my magic bag. While it heated up and I reread the info on the Heart Attack site, remembering Dec 18, 1990 when my dad had his (first) heart attack. Clint was 3.5 years old, Mandi was 1.5 years old, Zac was 2 months old and Max was 1 month old. We needed him to live because these grandkids hadn't yet gotten to know him.

So then, here I am, roughly the same age as my dad was, with no grandkids. Nary a one in sight. Which is good, considering none of my boys is married, but still. He had a spouse, children-in-law, and grandkids. He was tangled up in familial relationships. When he had HIS heart attack, he had a whole lot of people, 'his' people rootin for him to recover. Me? I was going slip into heaven from the couch in my living room by the front window. Drew might be surprised to find me dead when he eventually got up, but secretly I think he'd be relieved to get his inheritance before graduation. He'd have that money spent on a car and car parts before Valentine's Day.

It took awhile, but I finally fell asleep again, around 7 am, after many hours of desperate praying. God always hears from me, about me, when I'm in pain. And last night it was 3 solid hours of me, me, me, me. Reminded me of those nights I endured gall bladder attacks. Anyways, at 8, when my alarm went off I was surprised to find myself still on earth. I told Drew he was lucky I was still with him as I was on death's door a few hours earlier. He didn't appreciate how precarious my situation was. I had the TOP TWO symptoms! My heart, it was having an attack!

He took the truck to school, and I went back to bed for a few hours.

When I finally got up a few hours later, it was bright. And sunny. And I realized that maybe I had my very first anxiety/panic attack during the night. Over react much?

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I didn't die. Guess my work on earth isn't done.
2. Christmas is down. But not out. Still have to pack everything up. Which is a good start.
3. Car rides with my boy. He is happiest (read chattiest) when he's behind the wheel. Thankful that he came with me to my dad and mom's place tonight.

Shalom,

Reading.

2012-01-09T01:25:00.000-08:00

The other day, right here, on this blog, I posed the question, "When was the last time I tried something new?"
OK.
I have an answer.

I have been reading an entirely new genre of literature this winter.
I blame this entirely on Danica.
:)
Nothing like someone from a younger generation to push you towards something you've never tried before.

First, her and I both read THE HOST, which was totally fun.

It took about 100 pages for me to care about any of the characters, but once I did, I zipped through the rest of the book. I enjoyed it.

Next, she (Dani) recommended I read the Eragon series ... 4 books.

This is the author:

He was 15 years old when he wrote Eragon. (His family published it the first time. After that, a publisher picked it up. And the rest is history.)

This was a struggle for me. Not one to embrace worlds of magicians, dwarves, elves, and dragons - getting 'into' the first book took awhile. But once I finished it, I got lost in book 2 almost immediately.

... which kept me captive til the end.
I'm looking forward to Book 3 (Brisingr) which I'll read after a short break.

That short break?
Involved me reading Janet Evanovich's 17th book: SMOKING 17.
In 4 hours.

Do I ever get tired of reading about Stephanie's dilema between Morelli and Ranger? Is it getting old, the way her cars are always exploding? Is her gun-toting, funeral-home-junky grandma getting on my nerves?
The answer is NO.

Nothing like a Stephanie Plum book to reset my literary expectations.

BY THE WAY - did you know they're making a movie based on the first book (One for the Money). It'll be out in a few weeks.
Is this how you've been imaging Ranger would look?

Apparently he was named one of People's sexiest men last year.
I dunno.
I was imagining someone, uh, different.

But this?
This is Morelli:

And yeah. That totally works.

And Stephanie?
Brown-haired bounty hunter Stephanie Plum?
Is Katherine Heigl:

Again, I dunno.

In a way it's sad that the images in my head will forever be altered by the actors chosen to play the characters I've been intimate with in my mind.

Anyways, I got a little sidetracked here. But I did, in the midst of all this rambling, answer the first question.

(Other new things? Attended an NA meeting. Signed up for Pinterest. Did a 24 hour read-a-thon. Ran across the border with my luggage... you know. Regular stuff.)

Next question:
Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

Everyone.

(Well, every female in my world)

All the time.

I'm an insecure person.

I compare myself to other women in terms of:

face wrinkles
church involvement
belly fat
earning ability
relationships with family members
evidence of faith
inner peace
travel experiences
life skills
ability to pray out loud
bra size
decorating style
creative talents
teeth
typing speed
how much they are loved

I come up about average in some areas. Way low in others. And quite high in others. It balances out in the end.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Smarties

2. Handcream

3. Sunsets

Shalom,

It's Over. The Weekend, that is.

2012-01-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

It was cold, grey and wet in these parts this weekend. I should have prepared better, knowing these types of days are inevitable in January.

In spite of my lack of enthusiasm for 48 hours of drizzle, it was decent.

At noon on Saturday, even though it was raining, a friend dropped by to force me to go for a walk. Not just any walk. She wanted to do The Hill. I warned her that I rarely include The Hill when I wander as it's impossible for me to walk and talk and not have an exploding head at the same time.

So we walked in the wet til we stopped. Coincidentally, this 'stopping' was right outside the local Esquires. We needed sustenance, just having done the hill (The Hill) an' all. Inexplicably - it was boiling hot in there, so I stripped down to my underwears. Like everyone else.

No I didn't. I stayed wildly overdressed. Consequently, I melted.

Thus, I did not order a hot beverage.

We chatted. And conversed. And shared. And teared up (me). And encouraged (her). And maybe we laughed. And then she mentioned she had a few questions about Pinterest, so I hopped up and marched her out of the coffee shop and down the street into my living room where, to my great delight, we got that all sorted out.

Have I mentioned how much I love adding new bloggers and new pinners to the internet world? Because truly I do. I love it alot.

Shortly after that, I went to church.

OH man.

It only took, like, what? 46 years for me to appreciate going to church for reasons OTHER than to meet friends, see that guy, make sure my kids heard the Word ... And even now, I'm pretty sure I'm not necessarily going for the right reason (whatever that might be) but I do love going. I am at peace when I walk into a room overflowing with hundreds of other Christians. I am filled with joy singing (or listening to others singing) praise songs and hymns. And I can hardly wait to hear the sermon. WHO THE HECK AM I? I am fully aware that this is not cool. Does this mean I'm old? Or at a good church?

I guess I don't care. I'm old and not cool.

Which is not all that different from being young and not cool.

Anyways, Northview is starting a new series; it's based on Genesis 25 - 32 The Life and Times of Jacob. (Or as this series is titled, "A Holy Rotten Scoundrel") (Subtitled, "Watch and See How God Lavishes Grace On a Big Lying Jerk")

I took notes. Know what I walked away with? This:

1. What in the world? Why would God promise a huge family (as many descendants as stars in the skies) to an old man with a barren wife? Why did God promise Abraham that he would be the father of a great nation, and then provide him, his son and grandson all with barren wives? Why? Because He likes working against the stacked deck. He loves doing the impossible. He makes sure He gets the glory for the things He has done. Plus, He delights in surprising us.

When was the last time you asked God to surprise you?

2. God promised Abraham a child. Because Sarah was old and well past child-bearing age, Abe figured he'd need to make this promise come true. So he had a son with Hagar. That? Was not God's idea; God didn't need for Abraham to figure out a way to make His promise come to pass - He had a plan...

Eventually Sarah DID become pregnant and deliver a son; Isaac. And when she did, there was no doubt that he was from God.

God promised Isaac a child. But the wife God chose for Isaac, Rebekah, was barren, just like her mother-in-law. Isaac, instead of sleeping with Rebekah's servant in order to kick start a family, prayed. He prayed for his wife. Everyday.

How many husbands pray for their wives, daily?

It was 20 years of Isaac knocking on heaven's door on behalf of his wife before she became pregnant. TWENTY years of praying for the same thing. Twenty years of not giving up on God or this wife God had given him. Twenty years of having faith.

What would it look like, hanging in there, for 20 years, with a spouse that was disappointing? With one that wasn't doing the things you needed them to do in order to have the stuff (kids, house, vacations, freedom from poverty, status, peace, joy, love, large circle of friends, retirement fund, healthy lifestyle) that you believed God wanted you to have?

Have I prayed for anything for 20 years?
What SHOULD I be praying for over the next 20 years?

3. What's with "God's Chosen People" in the Old Testament- what's that all about?
It was explained thusly:
God created and loves us all. He has given us the freedom to chose to follow Him or not. EVERYONE has the freedom to choose. So, pretend we're all swimmers/sunbathers on a big beach in Hawaii and God is the life guard. He has welcomed us to this magical place and told us to swim here, where it is safe and He can bless and interact with us. The water is perfect, the sand is soft, the sun is warm, the folks around us are lovely... it's ideal.

He has warned us, as lifeguard, not to go over to the cliffs where the gigantic waves, whirlpools, sharks and boulders are... If we choose to go there, He will not save us. Not because He can't - but because that's the nature of CHOICE. You can stay here, or go there. If you stay here, it will be good. If you go there, it won't be.

Everyone, EVERYONE goes to the cliffs. In fact, we don't wander to the cliffs, we RUN to the cliffs. And full speed ahead, we jump over them into the frothing waters below. God, allows this to happen because of that 'freedom of choice' thing.

But then? Then He reaches down and scoops up a line of people He calls His. He pulls them back from the edge of the cliff and claims; YOU ARE MINE. He saves them from jumping and lavishes His grace on them. From this line of descendants, He will provide a savior. He will protect this line. He will teach them and challenge them and love them and do great things through them.

This line started with Abraham. Then Isaac. And then Jacob (who, spoiler alert, eventually became renamed: Isreal).

And for the next few weeks, we are going to learn more about Jacob.

If you're not doing anything on Saturday nights, come to church. Or you know, just wait til I blog about it :)

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Grace
2. Weekends
3. Smart People

Shalom,

Friday Night

2012-01-07T03:39:00.000-08:00

Know what I did this evening?
Had a friend over and we both sat on a different couch, in my cozy living room, with the fireplace on, candles glowing, Christmas twinkle lights still spreading their magic, with our own laptops on our respective laps, and surfed the internet.

I LOVE nights like this.

OK. This is what I found. I will share it with you. Because I'm cool like that.

These SIX sisters have a blog. Very fun project to keep 6 sisters connected. Their mom must be very proud.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My (young) friend, Rachel, (the one who just had a skinny baby) has a mom. (Seriously, though. Skinny. TOO too cute - go look at her chicken legs... so adorable.) And that mom has a blog. And I just discovered it. And became totally inspired by what I read. Connie had a goal of raising $200 to provide a micro loan to a family in India through the Dalit Freedom Network.
(WHOOSH! The world just got small again. Clint worked for the Dalit Freedom Network last summer. And that Polaroid Party I was telling you about earlier this week? Is also raising funds for the DFN. )

She sold handmade "love letter" pillows with proceeds going towards her goal.

On Dec 29, her goal was realized. I sat here and cheered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My blogging friend, Tricia in Florida, has 2 blogging daughters. The younger one, Megan, is an artist and has created a new series: Rock Star Female Authors. LOVE the premise. Hahaha. Rock star female authors...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stumbled upon this blog, by a young mom with three sons. I heart organizing...
You must read this post about a typical weekday in their home. RIGHT NOW. Go.

I'll still be here.

No hurry.

Take your time.

Did you look it over?
AMAZING, no?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While I was surfing on my couch, I noticed that friends of mine, who were not sitting beside me, where doing the EXACT same thing at their homes... I watched one friend pin shoe options on her boards while another friend was pinning bathroom ideas on hers. So fun. I love pinterest.

Kids? This is what good Friday nights look like when you're 50. Something to look forward to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also found this site: 365 Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself this Year.
Maybe I'll answer them here, periodically.

1 When was the last time you tried something new?

Um. Not today. I didn't try anything new today. Or yesterday either. Maybe last week? I will think on this and answer tomorrow.

When was the last time YOU tried anything new?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From A Diary of Private Prayer:

O Thou who art the only origin of all that is good and fair and true, unto Thee do I lift up my soul.

O God, let Thy Spirit now enter my heart.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let not any room within me be furtively closed to keep Thee out.)

O God, give me power to follow after that which is good.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let there be no secret purpose of evil formed in my mind, that waits for an opportunity of fulfillment.)

O God, bless all my undertakings and cause them to prosper.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let me not be still holding to some undertaking on which I dare not ask Thy blessing.)

O God, give me chastity.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let me not say to myself secretly, "but not yet" or "but not overmuch".)

O God, bless every member of my household.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let me not harbour in my heart a wrongful feeling of jealousy or bitterness or anger towards any of them.)

O God, bless my enemies and those who have done me wrong.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let me not still cherish in my heart the resolve to requite them when occasion offers.)

O God, let They kingdom come on earth.
(Now as I pray this prayer, let me not be still intending to devote my own best hours and years to the service of lesser deeds.)

Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. This couch that I'm sitting on.
2. The bed that I'm going to go lay on.
3. The kid who is sleeping across the hall from me.

Shalom,

One annna two annna threeee

2012-01-05T01:43:00.000-08:00

Things I'm thankful for:
1. I love being back to my regular 5 hours per day shifts... This allows me lots of time (it's always a 3 hour trip) to bring my Vancouver boy some groceries and take him out for dinner.
2. I love coming home to a house with people in it. Tonight? It was Drew and Danica; doing homework. She has a big business project due tomorrow and Drew? Is a natural.
3. Only 65 days til daylight savings comes into effect.

Shalom,

Calendars

2012-01-04T01:10:00.000-08:00

My left eye lid is flickering. It's been doing so for about three weeks now.
Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone else's lid is doing the same thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, finally, today, I bought a calendar. (I wished I'd had one on January first as I was bored and filling in little squares is what I live for.) I got it from Chapters where I had a gift card and where they were selling them at 50% off. The choice was abysmal. Themed calendars included: Zombies, Weather Trivia, Twilight, Glee, Farmer's Almanac... At the front, next to the till they had a few Martha Steward GARDENS calendars, so I picked one of those up.
Looks nice, doesn't it?
Pretty cover n'all?

Whoa.
IT HAS MONDAY AS THE FIRST DAY OF THE WEEK. I'm so used to Sunday being the leftest-most day of the week...
AND on every single page it lists the days of the week in 6 languages. Do you know how much space that takes up? (Monday, Montag, Lundi, Lunedi, Lunes, Maandag) (Interesting that GERMAN is second, no?) (Which also means, that in certain boxes, like, say, Valentine's Day, "Valentine's Day" is written out in 6 languages!) Yes. I just used an exclamation mark. There is no room to write MY stuff in those boxes because I'm getting a language lesson on every 'special' day. Martha recognizes alot of special days each month. SHE should be in charge of determining Statutory Holidays.

When you get a new calendar, do you immediately flip to your month? The month of your birth? To confirm that they used the best image/photo/picture for your month? And then you know you can look forward, even more than usual, to your birthday, because the best calendar page will be on display when you're eating your cupcake?

MY MONTH, in the GARDENING calendar has a photo of CACTUSES in it. CACTI? The ugliest picture of all the months. I don't even want to celebrate this year.

I'm not going to use my neatest printing when I enter stuff. I'm just not motivated to write neatly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend Heather has been busy this fall, knitting scarves. Blue scarves. 25 of them. Her mom has Alzheimers, which is a no-good-terrible-awful disease, and she wanted to DO something besides hurt, mourn and fume. You see, her mom's mind doesn't know who Heather is anymore. But her hands remember how to knit. She grabs those needles and just starts clicking...

So Heather learned how to knit and started blogging.
Twenty five scarves. Twenty five stories. Twenty five blog posts. Twenty five hundred dollars raised towards research.

She will send you the scarf of your choice in exchange for a $100 donation to the Alzheimer's Society.

Read, weep, donate - then let her know which scarf you'd like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I mentioned a few days ago, Rachel had her baby on New Year's Eve. She blogged about it here. (Rachel? Why are your titles not links?) Here's Eleanor. She's about 6 hours old here:

Another (American) blogger I follow had a baby on Thanksgiving. She blogged about it here.

I KNOW!! (Yes, her story warrants TWO exclamation marks.)

This is Erin. She's about 3 weeks old here:

Rachel? I expect a home birth with Joel doing the delivering next time, especially seeing how as he's going to be a doctor n'all ...
:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of my mom's best friend's grandsons is a hockey player with a team that's almost the NHL. Portand Winterhawks. He's very good. Got the winning overtime goal tonight. On New Year's Eve he saved a drowning man. And tonight? I just found out he blogs.

Yessiree bob. Wishing I had a daughter. I would SO be arranging a marriage right abouts now.
(For those who need to know the connection, this is Hildegard's daughter, Donna's son.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whoa. The eyelid is flickering double time now.
I think it's a result of my annoyance at this stupid calendar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking for something hip and cool to do next Friday night?
(Ooooh, Friday the 13th)

How about heading into Vancouver to attend a not-your-typical fundraiser?
It's a different kind of photographer's art show... POLAROIDS.
Twenty photographers each selling twenty Polaroids.
For $10 each.
ALL (like, 100%) of the proceeds go to educating kids in Ethiopia and India.

Come, encourage some young, budding, photographers. Come, hang out with cool, socially-sensitive young adults who want to make a difference. Come, support two organizations as they raise money and awareness. Come.

And yeah, in case you're wondering ... Clint is part of the team that is organizing this event. I? Couldn't be prouder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Christmas stuff is still up, in all it's glory, at my house. No one cares. Love that I'm under no pressure to pack it away yet.
2. The opportunity to watch my boys 'come into their own'... love seeing them do what they were created to do.
3. Drew's friends. Love that about once a week they show up here to watch a hockey game.

Shalom,

Happy Birthday, MOM

2012-01-03T02:07:00.000-08:00

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. My mom was born. (Do you ever wonder how it came to pass that I turned out so fabulous? It's because of my mom's superior parenting. Let's give credit where credit is due...)
2. My kids and I (along with Mandi and Danica) were all free to celebrate tonight. Dinner and a movie.
3. The Keg's baked garlic shrimp. Oh man. YUM.

Seriously.
I love my family.

Shalom,

Questions -

2012-01-02T04:10:00.001-08:00

... to think about at the start of a new year:

1. What’s one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

CHILL OUT with all my ideas about 'being spiritual' and just BE. In the book we've been reading at work (The ME I Want to Be) there was paragraph on feeling guilty because we're not praying, serving, devoting, worshiping, witnessing enough. How we get all worked up about sacrificing sleep and joy in order to be 'more spiritual'...

"Like you hear about someone who gets up at 4 am in the morning to pray and you feel guilty because you don't pray enough. So you resolve to do that too, even though you are not a morning person - at 4 am you are dazed and groggy and grumpy and no one wants to be around you at that time of the morning. Even Jesus doesn't want to be around you at 4 in the morning. But you think, Well this is exhausting and miserable - I certainly don't like doing it - so it must be God's will for my life. It must be spiritual."

Hahahaha. I have to stop thinking God is happiest with me when I shut myself in a room to read and pray and confess and realize I can enjoy God by living the life He has set out for me. I need to wrap my mind around the idea that I am enjoying God when I am laughing with friends, eating with my kids, walking along the beach, talking with my mom, crying in a movie theater, reading blogs, taking photos, using a glue gun, writing words, drinking tea and decorating a Christmas Tree.

2. What’s the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

He totally did what I asked Him to do last year.
So this year I'm going to ask, just as boldly, that He would find us an affordable home in an area closer to the freeway, that has a basement suite, an attached garage, a private southern-facing back yard, 3 bedrooms, a dining room and a rec room in the basement for Drew. I've been looking for this home since last August. I'm asking Him to find one for me this Spring.

3. What’s the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

Just to keep praying for my kids.

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

I would like to intentionally memorize scripture. Last year I bit off a passage (39 verses) that was too big to chew. I need to be more realistic about what my 50 year old brain can contain. Maybe single verses. The good ones.

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

Facebook gaming. Holy cow. Between Scrabble, Wheel of Fortune and now Words with Friends, I must waste a few hours a day. What am I going to do? Be disciplined? Limit myself to one hour a day? I'm getting hives just thinking about that.

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

Praying for it's leadership.

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

I've got a list. A long one. And don't think God doesn't hear from me daily regarding these people that I love. Because, oh boy, he does.

8. What’s the most important way you will, by God’s grace, try to make this year different from last year?

I just lived through one of my favorite years ever. Not sure I really want to make 2012 too much different. Except December. I would love to make next December different/better/less sucky. How will I be able to do that, though? Eat more vegetables, get more sleep, get up at 4 am to pray?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

Keeping a prayer journal was the best thing I did last year. I will keep it up this year.

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?

I am committed to praying for about 100 young people; other than that - I don't know. Anyone have ideas? What are you doing?

Proverbs + January = 31 Days of Wisdom

2012-01-02T02:42:00.000-08:00

Of all the books in the Bible, Proverbs is probably the easiest one to read. And it's full of great wisdom. Join me, why don't you, in getting smarter this month by reading a chapter of Proverbs each day?

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. The Bible, which is always relevant.
2. My circumstances.
3. Pillows. Best invention ever.

Movies

2012-01-02T02:14:00.000-08:00

Watched a few movies today.
Some years I read alot of books during the Christmas break. Some years I go out for coffee alot.
This year I spent WAY too much time on my couch staring at the TV.

Just watched this:

... which I totally do not understand because I am shallow and watch movies mostly to be entertained. This one is artsy and deep and apparently "important" and I think I just wasted $4.99 on Shaw on Demand. One of my holy facebook friends says this:
My favorite film of 2011 is THE TREE OF LIFE. It is the Space Odyssey 2001 of the 21st century with a much stronger message: a Hollywood film that is an unapologetic theodicy. If you missed it on the big screen I feel sorry for you. You have to see it twice, once to discover what it is and a second time to savor the details. The entire story is a development of Job 38:4-7. One insightful reviewer commented," In reworking Job for the 21st century, he teaches us anew of the grandeur of the world, and the grandeur of God."

Earlier this evening, I totally enjoyed The Proposal

I love this movie.
I must've deep sighed at least a dozen times while watching it.

Just before that, I watched:

Which, surprisingly, I'd never seen before.
If YOU could go back to being 17, would you change any of the decisions you made?
I think I would.
The ripple effect of the decisions one makes as a teenager are incredibly long reaching. The impact your life forever. If I could suggest ANYTHING to anyone making big decisions it would be: tap the wisdom of those around you who love you and have some experience at life.

TradiSHUNS

2012-01-01T18:55:00.000-08:00

How do you start off the new year? What do you usually do on January 1? What traditions do you look forward to this coming year?

For the past few years I've ended the old year and started the new one praying. I've been alone at home, and somehow it just seems like the right thing to do. Well, that, and eat any leftovers in my fridge. (I used to go to the New Year's Eve service at a local church but the last time I went it was kinda icky. At midnight we were to turn to the lonely person sitting near us and give them a 'New Year's hug'. And then? Give another person a hug. And then? AGAIN! And then, from the pulpit, we were reminded that for some of us, these will be the only hugs some of us get all year... {which, can I say, does not make them any more meaningful. I mean, that was likely true for me. That those awkward hugs were the only ones I received in months. But really - they were from strangers. Not from the people I was aching to love me. Shudder.} In my section, at the back, there was nothing but single women. It was all kinds of weird; clearly we were all there because we had no family interested in ringing in the New Year with us.) Anyway, I never went back.

Avoiding awkward social situations has become a hobby of mine, so I spent an hour talking to God.
I used "A Diary of Private Prayer" to get me started:

O God, may I grow more sure of Your reality and power;
May I attain a clearer mind as to the meaning of my life on earth;
May I strengthen my hold on life eternal;
May I look more and more to things unseen;
May my desires grow less unruly and my imagination more pure;
May my love for fellow man grow deeper and more tender and may I be more willing to take their burdens on myself.

To thy care, O God, I commend my soul and the souls of all whom I love through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

This morning I continued:

(Sometimes old English just seems appropriate when addressing the King, no?)

Eternal Father, let my first thought this year be of Thee. Let me first impulse be to worship Thee. Let my first action be to kneel before Thee in prayer.

For Thy perfect wisdom and perfect goodness;
For Thy perfect love;
For the great and mysterious opportunity of my life;
For the indwelling of Thy Spirit in my life;
.... I worship and praise Thee.

Let me not, when this prayer is said, think my worship is ended and spend the rest of this day (year) in forgetfulness of Thee. Rather, from these moments of quietness let light go forth, and joy, and power, that will remain with me through all the hours of the day:

Keeping me chaste in thought
Keeping me temperate and truthful in speech
Keeping me faithful and diligent in my work
Keeping me humble in my estimation of myself
Keeping me honorable and generous in my dealings with others
Keeping me loyal to every hallowed memory of the past
Keeping me mindful of my eternal destiny as a child of Thine.

O God, be my refuge today in every time and circumstance of need. Be my Guide through all that is dark and doubtful. Be my Guard against all that threatens my spirit's welfare. Be my Strength in time of testing. Gladden my heart with Thy peace through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

~*~

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. New years. New months. New weeks. New days. Second chances.
2. Books.
3. Tuna casserole.

Shalom,

2011 Wrap Up

2012-01-01T04:21:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Planned three gala-dinners to take place on 3 consecutive weekends in three different corners of North America. Attended a few N.A.meetings. Did a 24 hour read-a-thon.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any. Or at least, if i did, I can't remember. And no, I won't make any for 2012.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
As a matter of fact, yes. Rachel (and Joel) (but mostly Rachel) gave birth to her daughter on New Year's Eve. Eleanor Constance Loretta. If someone close to me had a baby in Jan, Feb, Mar, or any month, really, before December - I can't remember. Oh wait. I think one of my cousins had a baby this year. A boy. In June. ?

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No one in my immediate family died. Or my extended family for that matter. But I've been to a few funerals.

Margret's mom died.
Vern's dad died.
Sandra's mother-in-law died. And her dad died.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico, Puerto Vallarta specifically, last February.
And USA, San Diego specifically, last May. And Anaheim, specifically, in November.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Self Discipline. Oh Lordy it would be nice to be able to say no to chocolate once in awhile.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 25 - The day Max asked for help with something he was struggling with.
First week of May - The DOTS are born as 16 friends join Sandra and I on our birthday cruise.
November 11 - The day I ran (limped) across the border with my children in order to catch our flight to Disneyland. (And on 11.11.11 at 11:11 we were in a taxi speeding towards the Bellingham airport.)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I can't think of one. Yeesh. What a loser.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I failed to change my size.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Other than 6 bladder infections, I had a perfectly healthy year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Besides some medical treatment for someone I love, I absolutely ADORE the Memory Foam mattress pads I bought for my bed at home and my bed at the lake. Seriously. Best. Purchase. Ever.

12. Where did most of your money go?
My roof and attics. By the time all the dust settled, I'd spent over $20,000 to replace the roof and get rid of the rodents.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Some of the excellent decisions my kids were making.
The vacations I took.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? HAPPIER
b) thinner or fatter? EXACTLY the same. I`ve maintained this weight for 4 years.
c) richer or poorer? WAY. WAY. WAY poorer.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Walked.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eat. Worry.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
Here, at home. With my boys.
Absolute best feeling in the world to wake up on Christmas morning and have all your chillens at home with you.
Dinner was at my sister's new home.
All in all, an outstanding day.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
I started off the year watching Glee. But life got busy, I lost control of the remote and I haven't watched anything consistently for the past 6 months.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Half the Sky totally wrecked me. I'm still wondering what my response to it should be.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
I'm still enjoying Mumford and Sons.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
The Help.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 50 in June and celebrated all year. My 'real' birthday celebration took place in May on a repositioning cruise from San Diego to Vancouver with 16 friends.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less discomfort due to bladder infections would have been lovely. More time with my kids is something I continually crave. Having less abdominal flesh would have been fun.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
If it's clean and covers all my skin, I wear it.

26. What kept you sane?
Conversations.
With God. My mom. My sister. My friends.

27. What political issue stirred you the most?
The plight of women, especially the young ones, in other parts of the world. Poverty. Sex trafficking. Abuse. I tell ya, Half the Sky stirred up alot of anger in me. STILL don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

28. Who did you miss?
I missed seeing Vern this year. Our annual visit didn't come to pass again this year.

29. Who was the best new person you met?
Best new person? What kind of question is this?
There's a new (young) guy at work who is a great addition to the team.
Arrow got a new US-based President is who is wicked smart and fun to learn from.
Max has introduced me to a bunch of his new friends, all pretty awesome.
And met Karen for the first time on the birthday cruise.

I guess, all in all, I met, talked to, and now 'know' about 25 new people.
Is that average? Do most 'average' women expand their people-circles by 25 folks per year?

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Don't give up. The story isn't over; we don't know the ending.
And
God is still in the business of redeeming lives. Keep praying.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. THAT month is finally over.
2. A mom and dad who are OK spending New Year's Eve with me. (We had dinner together then went to see New Year's Eve afterwards:)

3. Reba. Her show makes me laugh.

Shalom,

Christmas Mem'ries

2011-12-27T01:28:00.000-08:00

The tree was delivered and set up last Sunday. It was a joint effort between all three boys. Plus one.

Hahaha.
Clint brought a friend to help. He too, wears his pants under his bum.

Max and Drew helped with lights and decorations...

Boys like blue lights. Ask anyone.

Moms like white lights. Ask anyone.
So he added a few strands of traditional white lights; the 'real' ones.

And Max was pretty adamant that no red baubles be used this year.
These boys and their strong opinions. Where did that come from?

Christmas morning.
Everyone played with their new 3D Gameboys for hours; (which I put with their stockings which I hid under the stairs. A ten-clued treasure hunt was their only way of finding their underwear filled stockings and accompanying last minute gift idea) - not in the least bit interested in opening any of gifts under the tree.

Nintendo saved another Christmas around here.
They reminisced about their favorite Christmas memories and they all remember clearly each Nintendo gift surprise... (the Wii was the big gift the Christmas we spent at Hemlock. They remembered me hiding the N64 in the oven...)

Finally, they took a break and opened the other gifts... like socks and shampoo and books and

color coded knives ...

We watched Lion King in BluRay on Christmas morning, to re-establish the real meaning of Christmas... and Clint sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the TV just like he did 20 years ago.

Ahhh.
I love being a mom.

Happy faces.

In the early afternoon, Drew and Max went to see their girls, so Clint and I walked around the neighbourhood.

Spectacular day for a stroll.

I will be thankful though, when the sun doesn't set at 4 pm.

Then, for supper, we met at Jule's new house.
Isn't her great room awesome?
See:

If felt like the olden days when we hung out at the cabin at Christmas...

Clint was our designated turkey carver:

Zac supervised.

Mom set the table:

And set out 'pretties' all over the house:

Daryl's kitchen. He does this for a living, and you can tell. AWESOME place to prepare meals.

Clint prayed, then we heaped delicious food onto our plates.

So, so good.
Seriously fantastic.

Annual photo of Zac's mashed potato volcano:

The 'kid's' table: Jake and Clint still to be seated.

And then we played games.
And laughed and laughed some more.
And oh we laughed.

I might scan the pages. But then again, I might not.
Just imagine a family of mostly not talented artists drawing things they have no business drawing.
Like, I drew a picture of two elephants mating.

It was not pretty.

And with that, Christmas was over.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I had all three boys over for two consecutive nights and it was simply wonderful.
2. I have a pretty awesome family. Thankful to my dad and mom for raising us.
3. Late nights and lazy mornings.

Shalom,

Thanks

2011-12-24T01:58:00.000-08:00

I am thankful that:
1. Sandra's dad knew Jesus. He unexpectedly went to be with Him a few hours ago.
2. I am surrounded by friends who are selflessly caring for loved ones this Christmas.
3. There was one more minute of daylight today. And tomorrow's daylight will be extended by ANOTHER minute. SO looking forward to January.

Shalom,

One. Two. Three.

2011-12-23T00:51:00.000-08:00

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Dinner tonight, at Spaghetti Factory, with Dad, Mom, Clint, Max and Mandi. Love when last minute plans . turn out.
2. Sherlock Holmes movie with Clint, Max and Mandi. Love listening to my boys banter when they're in good moods.
3. Twinkle lights.
4. The smell of a fresh Christmas tree.
5. Only one more partial shift at work this year.
6. Hotdogs at midnight.
7. Upcoming turkey dinner at Jule's.
8. Hope.
9. Friends.
10. Family.

Shalom,

Thankful for

2011-12-22T02:41:00.000-08:00

...
1. A day off from work.
2. A shining sun.
3. A squeaky clean house.
4. A lovely walk through Fort Langley.
5. Dinner with some of my favorite people.
6. The opportunity to be at tonight's winning Canuck's game.
7. Drew initiating a game of Words with Friends with me.
8. Fresh sheets on my bed.
9. The power of prayer. (Or maybe I should say, the power of the One listening to me pray.)
10. The days start getting longer again. Starting NOW.

Shalom,

Three Things

2011-12-20T01:18:00.000-08:00

... that I'm thankful for:
1. My sister is sleeping in her new home tonight.
2. The office is closed next week.
3. This month will not last forever.

Shalom,

Is God the Milkshake or the Straw?

2011-12-11T01:58:00.000-08:00

Do you use God as a means (like a straw) to get the good stuff (the milkshake)?

Do you have a relationship with God, and do all the "christian stuff" (going to church, listening to Praise 106.5 fm, praying for your kids, supporting a Compassion kid or two, not saying 'Oh My God', feeling guilty laughing during Two and A Half Men) so that you'll get the good stuff (a loving, faithful spouse, a comfortable home, kids who don't rebel, a good paying job, help with lost keys, and everlasting life in heaven where there will be no tears?)

Or is GOD the good stuff (the milkshake). Is He enough?

Is it enough to spend eternity with Him?

Is it enough that He sent His Son to die for us? If He never gave us another thing, would the gift of His Son be enough?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff's mom unexpectedly passed away recently. He preached this sermon spontaneously, (not part of the planned series) in response to that experience. Please listen:

No More Tears from Northview Church on Vimeo.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Sermons that force me to think and respond.

2. Answered prayer.

3. Quiet Saturdays.

Shalom,

Favorite Things. A Song and A Party.

2011-12-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

First the SONG, so that you'll have it stuck on replay in your mind all the livelong day:

Raindrops on noses and raindrops on kittens
Black dirty kettles and red 'lympic mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These aren't a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and cream colored poodles
Doorbells and sleigh bells and beef stew with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my what-the-heck? things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bitesssss
When the bee stingssss
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so baaaaaaaad

And now, the PARTY:

Way back in September, on a rare night home all by myself, I started a new habit that became an obsession. I signed up for a pinterest account and repinned all the good ideas I encountered on other like-minded stranger's boards.

You can view my boards here.
One idea I came across was a Favorite Things Party:

"Each person brings a favorite thing (anything you like.. your favorite lip gloss, favorite
kitchen tool, favorite gift wrapping supply, a gift card for your favorite frozen yogurt, a
favorite paperback book, a favorite travel accessory, favorite decorating item, favorite
devotional, favorite grooming item, coupon for favorite coffee shop beverage, etc.). It
can't cost more than $10, and each person brings four of the same thing. When you arrive
at the party, you write your name on four slips of paper and throw them in a big bowl.
The bowl is passed around, and each person takes four names (making sure you don't pick
your own.. or two of the same name). One at a time each person introduces their favorite
thing and then reads the four names they picked from the bowl, passing out their gift to
those four guests. After everyone at the party has presented their favorite thing, each
person should end up with four gifts to take home. It's always interesting to see what
people choose, and some guests bring a notepad and pen to jot down what people love."

I totally LOVED this premise for a gathering.
So I sent an email out to a few friends to see if anyone else thought this sounded like fun.
Half did.

So on Friday night, Dec 2, sixteen of us met in my living room to share our favorite things with each other.
Let me try to tell you how much fun that was.

SO fun.

You know what?
I love being a fifty year old woman.
I love that we (as a demographic) look forward to sharing our good ideas with each other. That we are happy to have others benefit from our experiences and great retail finds. I'm thankful that the flow of ideas and information doesn't get shut off because we want to 'keep it for ourselves'. I'm tickled that I came away from that evening just a little bit smarter about toilet cleaning techniques and wiser about restorative hair products.

This isn't an exhaustive list of our favorite things, but it is a sampling: (Along with a few random pics)

Mini Whisk
Olive Garden's Italian Dressing
French Milled Soap, exclusively available from Winners
Silicon Spatula/Scoop

Trans Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Album
Black Scarf with strand of sparkly silver
Shopping Cart coin thingy to add to your keychain

Morocco Oil (for your hair)
A book about Leisure
Itty Bitty Reading Light

Starbucks Mug
Vanilla and Black Raspberry Hand cream
Toilet Stone

Jar Opening Aid
OPI Nail Polish "I'm Not Really a Waitress" (I just went to OPI's website to confirm color name. Whoa. Cool sight.)
etc

I highly recommend parties like this. I highly recommend inviting friends who may or may not know each other. I highly recommend having friends.

Not everyone knew each other. We all come from different backgrounds and live unique lives. But we all have favorite things and everyone brought an enthusiastic attitude to my house and It. Was. Awesome.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. My house. I'm going to miss it once it sells. I love that I can fit many people into my living room.

2. My friends. I love them; the ones that totally get into an event like this. And ones that totally don't.

3. The new favorite things that I got ... love each one.

Shalom,

THAT time of year

2011-12-01T00:17:00.000-08:00

I haven't quite caught my breath yet.
From gala season. And learning a whole new system for data management. Which includes a whole new system for donation processing. And along with that are new methods for inter-office communications. It is NOTHING like the system that I am an expert in.

That's a whole lot of learning for an old chick. And I can be a little whiny about it.

In the midst of this are our (and every other organization in North America's) Year End mailings... newsletters, Christmas cards, receipts, gala thank yous; and so on. I'm estimating that 3500 pieces of mail will pass through my hands in a 3 week period.

So when did I decide to reschedule, for the third time, my full-meal-deal, horribly-thorough, much-dreaded complete-physical doctor's appointment? Next Monday. Which meant that I had blood tests and whatnot to get handled this week. Fasting. Peeing in a cup. Waiting in the lab's reception area for over an hour with many, many seniors.

When will the Pest Detective come and plug up the holes in my soffits? And clean the debri from my attics? On Friday. Last September, when I read about a Favorite Things party idea in Pinterest, when did I decide to host it? This Friday. When did the urge to totally clean my garage hit me? This week. When was I finally able to get my flat tire dealt with? Today, after work; after waiting an hour.

Seriously. I have jam packed a ridiculous amount of activities into this 7 day time period.

So tonight? After getting home at 10 pm after working late and doing errands? I decided it was time to decorate my house for Christmas. I am whacked.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Drew hung out with me all evening - helping me at work and with errands. This is a rare occurrence and I am thankful.
2. It was a crisp, cool, dry, stunning day. Perfect incentive to get going on Christmas, and totally acceptable weather to be out and about in.
3. I still have the capacity to learn.

Shalom,

Just Joshing.

2011-11-30T01:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard Josh McDowell speak?
He's quite famous, you know.
According to the back of the book I just bought, he's spoken to 10 million people in 115 countries.

And tonight?
He was right here. Down the road. At Peace Portal.

I went with a couple friends; fully expecting to hear a message based on the topic of Truth Matters.
I brought my Bible and was prepared to take notes. (Because I hear better with a pen in my hand.) And I remember things better if I can refer to notes and not my memory.

(Actually, I heard an interesting thought about listening to sermons. It was suggested that instead of listening with the mindset of 'what's he got for ME today?' that one should listen to sermons with the purpose of "I need to hear this so I CAN TELL OTHERS."Or "What am I learning? How can I share this?" And "God is using this pastor to equip me to share the gospel, I better take notes." )

So anyhow, there I am, ready to learn and he starts his introduction by saying he is going to talk about the Greatest Threat to Christianity today. The Greatest Threat to the cause of Christ. The Greatest Threat to Youth. And the Greatest Threat to Family and Marriages.

He got my attention and had my interest.

He then spent the next 15 minutes sharing stats. Stats about numbers of email messages, facebook users, itune downloads, tweets, wikipedia, and youtube.

And from there? He dove straight into p0rn stats. There are 4.2 million websites. Every 30 minutes another p0rn film is made in the USA. Sex is the number one search topic on the internet. 90% of all 8 - 16 year olds have viewed p0rn. THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF DIVORCE IN THE USA TODAY IS P0RNOGRAPHY.

62% of Christian men regularly visit p0rn websites.

The Greatest Threat to Family and Marriage is p0rn.
Nothing destroys marital intimacy like p0rn.
Nothing ruins healthy family relationships, like p0rn.
Nothing as destructive is easier to access than p0rn.
Just one or two clicks and it's in the palm of your hand.
Nothing is as addictive... and it IS addictive.

How do you fight back?
How can you protect yourself and your family?
How do you protect your sons and daughters?

It was interesting... He started by saying you can't put enough controls on your computer to prevent it from entering your home. 90% of all teens are going to access it - if not on your home computer, they will get it on their phone. Or an ipad. The internet is the number one 'time waster' for our children's generation. TV is second. We can't change that.

We just have to be prepared to talk about it. We need to be equipped. Josh challenged parents to take the initiative by:
1. MAKING SURE YOUR CHILDREN HAVE A LOVING, OPEN, GOOD, RESPECTFUL, PLAYFUL, HONEST, REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD.

(I know! Again with the dad thing. Remember those statistics I quoted a year or so ago about church attendance? And how if children have a church-going, believing dad there is a 95% greater chance that they will continue going to church in their young adult years than if just their mom is a church attender? Seriously. Dads? SO MUCH DEPENDS ON YOU. Whoa. When God named you leaders in your homes, He meant it. The strength and health of families depends on men. Their example. Their integrity. Their sacrifices to put their families first; above desire for more money and man-toys, above search for personal happiness, above selfish pursuits ... )

As a mom of sons, I pray that my boys will become that type of man.

2. MAKE SURE YOUR CHILDREN HAVE AN ACCURATE, SOLID KNOWLEDGE OF THE SCRIPTURES.

And I guess it goes without saying, that you, the parents, should have a solid knowledge as well.

A few years ago, when I was trying to encourage my, then, working sons, that they should tithe 10% of their paycheck to the church we were attending, I was told, "I don't have to. No where in the New Testament does it say that I have to give 10%. That was an Old Testament thing - doesn't apply today."

I was ill-prepared for this debate. My opponent, however, was fully armed. To my shame, he 'won' that round because he out argued me, quoting (misquoting?) scripture in his defense. Sadly, his studies of scripture didn't include verses that talked about being generous, or giving, or taking care of widows, or ... He just was looking for verses that supported his position that he didn't have to tithe.

I've heard of young couples looking through the Bible to find loopholes/verses that allow them to engage in premarital sex.

Or people taking up a scripture search to look for God's approval to leave a spouse. Or arbort a baby. Or focus on wealth acquisition. Or ignore the starving in India. And if they can't find specific verses that indicate God's approval, then no verses on the topic is taken to mean that God is indifferent - so it's OK.

Josh was challenging us to Read the Bible. Study the Scriptures. KNOW what they say. And then obey them. There is power in Biblical Obedience.

And that's how we fight back against the global impact of p0rn and it's damage to our world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I got home, I plugged myself in and listened to Northview's weekend sermon. We're still doing that Biography series, and this week, Jeff was preaching. His 'person'? Martin Luther. Oh my goodness, so fascinating. Please watch:

Bio: Martin Luther from Northview Church on Vimeo.
.

Or just listen here.

My 'take-away' from this sermon?

I am so, so lucky to live in this time in history and this place on earth, when I can own a personal Bible. Why am I not studying it? Why don't I read it every day? Why don't I treat it like God's letter to me? Why don't I meditate on it? Why am I not memorizing it? WHY HAVE I NOT HAD MANY MANY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY KIDS ABOUT WHAT I'VE READ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Rich evenings with good friends and lots to think about.
2. Grace.
3. God's way of redeeming bad situations and poor decisions for His purposes and His glory. Josh McDowell, who, as I mentioned at the start of this post, has shared the Word of God with 10 million people in 115 countries is a family man with 4 married children, fully committed to preaching the truth and being a good dad. He himself came from a wildly dysfunctional home and was horrifically abused for 6 years. He didn't have a relationship with his dad, nor did he have a solid understanding of scripture growing up - and LOOK. God saved him. And Josh? Is doing mighty things for His Kingdom. Powerful things. Transformative things.

I love that about God.

Shalom,

This Evening?

2011-11-29T00:31:00.000-08:00

Was spent in my cold, mostly dark (because I don't know how to replace burnt out florescent lights) garage. Cleaning.

I have people coming over on Friday to sit in my living room, so I had to clean my garage.

Don't even try.
It won't make sense to anyone else on earth.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I really love my bed. Why did I wait this long to get a memory foam? Seriously.
2. The chance to celebrate (finally) some friends' early October birthdays last weekend.
3. Those little tiny Christmas oranges.

Shalom,

Part SIX will be The End.

2011-11-27T03:03:00.000-08:00

It's taken me 6 posts just to get to Sunday morning?
This is how mole hills become mountains.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The sun was shining when we got up. There is blue sky. And I am SO in my happy place - California with my boys.

No theme parks were on the itinerary for us this day. We are going TO THE BEACH. To shop.

First we pick up the girls and dropp off Clint.
Clint has some serious essay writing to do, so he plans to spend the day at the local university, in the library, in California, when the sun was shining, with California girls walking by in their California clothes.
I encourage him to stay focused.

Then the five of us go to Halee's haunt - the cute little town with the round-about. "Her" starbucks is INSIDE her bank. Craziness.

And awesomeness all wrapped up in an elegant building.

We have breakfast at her Bagel place, then head west. To the ocean.

Huntingdon Beach.

It is everything anyone would ever need in a beach town.

We don't actually walk on the sand or go anywhere near the water, as there are STORES with CLOTHES in them on all the side streets. So the kids shop and I sit on the benches-for-bored-husbands and spend my time people watching.

And, as was the case in New York and London, as soon as three hours passes, the boys are hungry and need a full meal. I totally forget this aspect of traveling with them until it happens. They are always hungry and must.be.fed. No sight. No store. No ride. No vista. No experience overrides their hunger.

I love every second of this day.

Max and Halee have cookies to bake and meetings to go to, and Clint still has words to write, so Drew, Danica and I decide to go see a movie:

... which has a compelling story line but lousy acting. Nevertheless, it was a lovely way to spend the evening.

We get back to the motel, round 10:30pm and wait for the others to show up. At midnight, Max, Halee and Clint arrive; starving. So we pile into my mini van and head over to the local IHOP for pancakes and waffles. Danica and Halee then went back to Narnia (the nick-name of Halee's house) and we went back to our motel to watch TV.

This is holidaying, O-style.

Clint stays up all night, typing his essay at the desk right beside my bed in the motel room. I doze off now and then, but mostly I listen to his fingers hitting the keyboard. He is a wicked fast typer.

On Monday, we pick up Danica, say goodbye to Halee (who has classes and a real life) and spend the day at Universal Studios.

They were all starving, so we started with Crepes.

Then the kids went on a few rides:

At 3 we leave the park.

This is a full 4.5 hours before our flight home is scheduled to take off. There is NO WAY I'm ditching the rented van at the side of an LA Freeway and running to the airport with out luggage. (By the way, 'ditching' became our theme for the entire weekend. For example, while in those little boats in the Small World ride? We stalled. Our boat stopped moving. "Let's ditch this boat, we can hop out and wade faster." And so on.)

Traffic was nowhere as horrific as I expected it to be, and we arrived at the Long Beach airport in plenty of time. Kids were starving again, so we ate again. And then waited. And waited.

Our flight is delayed. Then delayed again.

So we wait some more.

We eventually arrive in Bellingham, and Clint arranges a taxi for us.

The plan is to take a taxi back to the border crossing; Maxine has offered to pick us up on the Canada side.

At 12:30 am, me and my ducklings waddle up to the Canadian border and explain to the guard why we're crossing by foot in the middle of the night with all our luggage. There is a bit of a kafuffle as there is another person (male) with a duffle bag, wandering around between the borders - so three armed guards go looking for him. We carry on and meet Maxine at our agreed upon pick-up spot; the Duty Free Shop parking lot.

Did you know that once you enter the Duty Free Shop's parking lot you can't get out again? Armed guards assured us we couldn't back out, we had to proceed. BACK THROUGH THE US CUSTOMS INTO THE STATES. And then go around and come back into Canada BY GOING THROUGH THE CANADIAN CUSTOMS. Again. This time in a vehicle.

"Uh, Jane?" Maxine looks at me with terror in her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I don't have my passport with me."

"Crap."

"I don't even have my purse with me. No driver's license, no ID. No nothing."

"This might be problematic."

We explain our plight to the offical fellow packin' heat, and he is not moved.

"Tell you story to the border guards. Move forward."

"But, you just saw her drive up to pick us up. You just saw us walk through the border. Can't we just ..."

"No, proceed forward. Tell the border guards."

We explain, in detail, our situation, to the US border guard. From his booth, he likely saw the whole thing enfold; I know for sure he saw the taxi drop us off earlier. I know he would have seen us walk across, and I know he would have seen us walk through.

He kept our passports and met us at The Kiosk for Idiots where he handed them back to us and directed us to the Canadian entry point. Again we explained the details of our dilemma. He was not so quick to let us pass. Oh no. He was going to take a minute or two to question my sanity and my decision making process. He wondered why? Why had we walked across? Why did we choose this crossing? Why didn't I get someone to pick us up from the airport? Why, why why.

Why indeed.

In the end, I just agreed with him. He was right. This crossing was the result of many bad decisions. I had no defense. I was unfit. To parent. To travel. To breathe.

Once his point had been made, he welcomed us home.

Seriously.

The O Gong Show.

If I invite you to join us on a trip, you`d do well to decline.

Three things I`m thankful for:

1. Many memories were made.

2. The rain only lasted a few hours.

3. My family.

Shalom,

Fifth and FINAL

2011-11-20T22:51:00.000-08:00

(Or maybe I will squeak in a sixth part. Our homecoming was pretty epic.)
And CAUTION, this post is long, rambly and deals with feelings.

So. AnyWAYS, here we are in Disneyland ...

Wait. Can I pause here? For an 'aside'?

We are in Disneyland very intentionally. By my design. And, OK maybe God's too...)
(I did pray about it, but it was more like, "Dear God, this year is almost up and we (O's) haven't gone on a family vacation yet... I've looked at all our options, and I think it's going to be Disneyland. What do you think?" Then there was the usual silence. So I said, "I'm going to move forward with a plan. CLOSE doors you don't want me to walk through...)

Seeing no doors closed (or maybe He was closing doors, and I kept pushing them open? Like running through the border on Friday morning? Was that Him? Saying 'stay home'? It's all so confusing when one spiritualizes everything, no?) anyway, seeing there was room for us on affordable flights, and we got a motel room for cheap, and had access to discounted Disney passes, and seeing Halee lives 10 minutes from Anaheim and had room in her house for Danica - it all seemed like the perfect place for me and my boys to vacation at.

In the summer of 2000, on a whim, I borrowed my mom's Astro Van and packed it up with 6 kids (ages 6 - 13), two tents, two coolers, 7 lawnchairs, a 20-year-old propane cookstove, my Omi's homemade dining room table (finished in high gloss, dark brown, woodgrain arborite), and a large colorful yard umbrella. We were going to Creationfest for the first time and I was whoa-fully under-prepared.

Regardless, it was such a good experience, that we went back the following year. And the following year. With more kids, older kids, more families joining us, and in a fully loaded motorhome. This had become our tradition. It was our 'family vacation'.

Clint and Max eventually stopped coming due to summer jobs, and in 2009, I went for the last time with just 3 fifteen year old boys.

I needed to find an alternate holiday situation that we (I) could look forward to, annually. So we started a new trend; exploring cities. First it was Montreal. Then New York. And last year, London. But this year? This year it was harder to pull all the pieces (aka children) together... we all had commitments that prevented us from having time off prior to November. And really, in Novemeber, I'm still awfully busy at work, what with year-end mailings and galas and whatnot. And Clint, in his third year of university, was thigh high in essays and projects... but these four days were the only ones on the calendar that worked. So we went with it.

And I chose Disneyland because it is:
1. In a warm locale.
2. Family-friendly.
3. A happy place to be.

The "family friendly" aspect was important, because we are an uneven (some mathematicians might say "odd") assembly of humans; one female, three males. Or if you add the girls; three boys, two girls, one mom. YES. Yes, I totally DO overthink things. I didn't want to be at a place where everyone was coupled up. I wanted to be around families. And I WAS fully aware, going into this, that on those rides where people had to be partnered, Drew would chose Danica, Max would choose Halee, and by default, Clint would be stuck with me. And that = a FAIL from any 24 year old boy's point of view. "So, yeah! I was in Disneyland! And I went on the Matterhorn with MY MOM." So not cool.

I couldn't remember how many rides were twosies and how many were singles. Fingers and toes were crossed that the good ones were group rides.

SO.
Back to Friday night.
We are in Disneyland. The five of us. (Halee was going to join us around 10 pm after she got off work.)

We've done the Jungle Cruise and it was exactly as cheesy and perfect as we all remembered. Next stop? Would've been Pirates of the Caribbean, but it was closed. So on to the Haunted Mansion.
And it's a two seater. I go as a single.

Fun. But not over-the-top fun.
We get our passes for Indian Jones, then head over to Space Mountain.
Again - this is a two seater. I go as a single.

Matterhorn - a two seater. I go as a single.

And so on, all evening long.

At 10, Halee arrives and has brought MacKenzie, her roommmate, with her.
We go on a few more rides, all two seaters, I go as a single.

You know, the more times you get to the front of a line and say 'single' the less you feel like a loser. Not. I'm used to being single in real life, it's not as big a deal anymore. But in fantasy life, where everyone is happy and well-fed, well-rested, and well-loved - it sucks.

I'm not complaining. I KNEW this was a possibility. It just sucked a little more than I expected.

We stayed at the park til midnight, then took the tram back to the parking garage, then drove back to our hotel, arriving just before dawn. (No we didn't. We were 'home' by 1:15am. ) The girls were at Halee's. I had three man-childs who were looking at me to prepare them their midnight meal. We tried ordering pizza, but no one was delivering. So we watched HBO and fell asleep, a little after 2. (Well, I stayed up til I knew they were all SOUND asleep because I could hear them talking about how loud my snoring was while I was still awake. My eyes were closed and I was praying but I was also snoring. Who does this? What kind of freak show am I?)

We decided to meet up with the girls at IHOP the next morning.

View from our motel room.

Clint is in pain with shin splints, and my legs barely move after yesterday's last minute marathon run.
"I wonder if MacKenzie is going to come?" Clint mused.
"Are you OK with that?" I ask. "Are you comfortable being paired up with someone you don't know at all?"
"Heck yeah. She's great. I'm glad she's here. It's way better than the alternative. I have someone to go on rides with... sucks when you have to do them by yourself."

Yes it does, I say to myself.

MacKenzie does join us for another day of fun, and it was a perfect day, weather wise, to spend in a theme park.

We decide to 'do' California Adventure Park first, where we meet up with the current Mrs. O and my boy's little brother. He is beyond excited to see them - huge hugs and smiles as he charges into each of them.

They decide to meet again in Disneyland later in the afternoon and do a bunch of rides together.

We head over to get passes for World of Color for later in the evening, then get something to eat. The afternoon is filled with lots of rides and me taking many photos.

It was perfect.

At around 3:30 pm, the kids decide to go on Star Tours again. I am definitely not joining them. I did that ride the night before and felt nauseous afterwards...
We make arrangements; they meet up with Mikail and Sherry and I will see them at the outdoor coffee area in Tomorrow Land in an hour.

I wander through the tech show building and take a look at the "house of the future", then stand in line to see Captain EO (the 3D movie with Michael Jackson that was likely cutting edge in 1986 but not so much now.) It has started to rain, so I move from my outdoor cafe seat to the last available one next to the building under the overhang. I pull out my book club book and start to read.

The sun is setting and I decide to capture a few photos of the rain slicked pavement, so I get my camera out of my backpack (which, by the way, the boys have been carrying around the park without complaining, even though it is white with silver swirls and pink accents) only to discover that my 50mm lens has cracked.

Yes.
I am in Disneyland. Sitting by myself. In the rain. Reading a book about the second world war. With a broken camera lens, aching legs, tired feet and a lonely heart. Someone should write a country/western song about me and my pathetic circumstances.

One of the kids ran back to let me know they were heading over to Frontierland to go on more rides with Mikhail - they'd be back in an hour.

So I hunkered down and chatted with God in between chapters of The Postmistress (a novel about three partnerless women and their experiences during the war...) and got colder and colder. I was a miserable mess. I needed to connect with my kids. Not just bring them to a happy place. I needed to have a 'mom moment'. You know?

The only way I could see of redeeming this day was to take the kids out for a good dinner (Outback Steakhouse was just down the street) and cuddle up on the beds in our hotel room to watch whatever HBO was offering.

And then.

Then three very happy people came bouncing into the covered cafe area with, "What's next? Let's go on Matterhorn again! "
"Wow mom. You look kinda sad sittin here... comon, let's go!"

"Where are Max, Halee and MacKenzie?" I ask.
"They had to go, but Max and Halee will be back later. Probably around 10. I'm hungry, let's get something to eat."

I let their enthusiasm fill my depleted supply as we made our way to New Orlean's Square for some grub. Drew, who was walking in front of me, turned around and said, "You should have brought Sanjeet along." That was his way of acknowledging I didn't have a ride buddy like the rest of them :)

Danica and I had roast beef, Drew and Clint had some cajun Jumbalayian mess. With our tummies full, we wander over to Main Street and bask in the novelty of it all. The rain has stopped, most of the families with young kids have left the park, cheerful Christmas music is playing on all the speakers, the roadways are glistening with the reflection of all the Christmas lights and it is warm.

It is surreal. Feels like we are on a Christmas Movie set. As extras.

Drew and Danica shop. Clint and I fiddle with my camera.

Then?
Then we (the 4 of us) go over to California Adventure Park to see some water show about color.

And it is a holy moment. As in WHOAlly moment.
None of us are prepared for it's awesomeness.

It is amazing.

We are spellbound.

In awe.

Blown away.

Speechless.

We all look at each other when it is over and decide we must come back in an hour to see it again. It was all that.
And more.

It is then that I have my 'mom' moment.
We've all shared something bigger than ourselves and were all touched in exactly the same way. We were united in our desire to do it all over again. They were thinking and feeling the same way I was... and this is a rare thing.

My heart was full. My face was happy. My arms were warm.
It was all good.

At 9:15 pm we go back and watch again. And it is just as powerful. So Well Done. You have no option but to smile and sing along. Like a good worship set.

We meet up with Max and Halee 'round 10:30 pm do a few more rides...
We finish Big Thunder Railway (no lineup) and Clint, Drew and Danica race over to Space Mountain for another go, when Max comes up beside me and puts his arm around me.
"So mom. Is this weekend turning out like you had hoped?" he asks.
"Yeah. It's good." I reply.
"No. Tell me. Is it as good as you expected?"
"Hmmmm. There've been a few bumps but overall it's been just fine."
"Like what? Tell me...."
"Oh. I dunno. I'll probably process it all with my fingers on a keyboard..."
"You'll have to read her blog," Halee notes.
"She's my mom," Max says. "I shouldn't have to go looking on the internet to see how she's feeling."
Then he looks at me. "Seriously mom. You need to figure out a way to talk about these things. Not wait til you can blog about it."

Blink.

Blink.

Where did this boy come from?

"So?" he asks again.
"Well," I start, "I'm glad we're in Disneyland. It's still the best place we could have come this weekend. It's joy-filled and happy and there's lots to do. And it is family oriented. But.... But I wasn't expecting the 'couple culture' here. I was thinking "family group" whereas a lot of the rides are really about being part of a twosome. The new rides are better, but all the old ones? Definitely are designed for two people to cuddle."
"I can see that," Halee says. "I come here often with friends, and it does suck if you're a single."

"I've been protecting myself for years against situations where I'm going to feel awkward about being single. If I know I'm the only single person, and I know there are going to moments of romance or affection, like say, at a New Year's Eve party? I just don't go. I wasn't expecting my singleness to be an issue here. But it seems to have popped up all day long."

I pause.

"and that's how I feel about this weekend. I'm glad we're here. And surprised that I feel alone. I was not expecting that."

And just like that *snaps fingers, I've had my 'mom' moment with Max.

They eventually kick us out of the park. Max and Halee go to pick up pizza, and we meet back at our hotel for our 1 am meal. We lounge on the beds and watch HBO; Robin Williams in RV Vacation and it was good.

Perfect even.